...and so I return!
It's been a very stressful few weeks for me as well as extremely emotional. Losing my Mom has been one of the most difficult things to deal with. I never thought that I would be going through this journey without my Mom by my side. I always knew that she would be there for me...waiting for my phone call after an appointment, reassuring me that I was going to be ok, and loving me unconditionally. But sadly, she is not going to be there to share my triumphs with, my progress and my strength. Mom was taken very suddenly from me on the evening of August 12th. I spoke to her in the morning; she called to wish Jason a happy birthday. She had tried to get a hold of us the day before (his actual birthday) but couldn't get through the phone line. She seemed good when we spoke but didn't want to talk long because she was busy doing some things and said we would talk tomorrow. I never knew at that moment that tomorrow would never come. She had a massive heart attack that would take her life and there was nothing any of us could do about it.
After the initial shock, I knew that I had to get home to support my family. Not once thinking about my illness and what I could be sacrificing by going. We flew to Nova Scotia the next day and soon the realization that she was really gone started to sink in. Three weeks have passed since Mom received her angel wings and I have decided that I need to focus on getting better...that is what Mom would have wanted. As hard as it is, to not focus on my loss, I need to pull up my boots and get ready for the next chapter of this crazy life. I have a message sitting on my answering machine from Mom and I will hear her voice whenever, I need that little pick me up! She is still cheering me on and helping me to be strong...just in a different way.
So...now to the progress that I have achieved over the past few weeks. My numbness and tingling has subsided a bit and I have most of the movement back in my arm. I am strong and feeling great! I realized that while I was home, hugging/being hugged, and feeling numb from losing my mother, it helped with the therapy on my arm. I wasn't realizing at the time that I was actually exercising my arm and shoulder, every time I hugged someone...and I hugged a lot of people! I also realized that having Mom here for two weeks was a real blessing! So, my cloud does have a silver lining!
I meet with my Oncology Team this week. Tuesday (my birthday), I will meet with the Medical Oncology doctor that will consult with me regarding my Chemo treatment....Oops, maybe I am getting ahead of myself. The day that I was flying out to Nova Scotia, my surgeon called with results from my surgery. I was supposed to have a follow up appointment with him on Thursday, August 16 to discuss my results. But because I had to call him to see if I could fly after just having my last drainage tube and staples removed (morning of August 12) he decided he needed to tell me the results on the phone. My tumor was in fact 2.8cm and the cancer had spread to 2 of 5 lymph nodes. With those results, it was evident that I would require Chemo and Radiation.
Now, back to the appointments...so Tuesday...meet with my Medical Oncology doctor, Wednesday...meet with my Radiation Oncology doctor and Thursday...follow up with my surgeon. All of my appointments will be at Credit Valley Hospital. I am assuming that after these appointments, I will have my schedule of Chemo and Radiation appointments. As it stands now, I will be having 4-6 months of Chemo treatments and will lose my hair, followed by one month break and then one month of Radiation everyday (except weekends).
It's going to be a long hard road but I know that with my strength and positive attitude, as well as the prayers and support from friends and family, I will come through this with flying colors! LOL
Thank you to everyone that has sent cards, flowers, donations, emails and phone calls...I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am so blessed to have you all in my life.
Please be strong, stay positive and keep sending those prayers!
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