Life Is So Precious!!

Jason and I sat in the hot tub tonight discussing the unfortunate events that have been happening to us and the people we love.  It sounds a bit like a downer of a conversation but it really wasn't, it was more of an enlightening experience.

We were told today about someone close to us that was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  They were given 6 months to a year to live.  Six months with no Chemo and a year with aggressive Chemo.  Both Jason and I reflected on how we would feel if we were given that news and how we would deal with it.  Would you take the 6 months and live every day to the fullest or would you take the aggressive Chemo and hopefully live a year?  That year would be miserable...you would be sick, weak and fighting for something that you know wasn't meant to be.  What a terrible decision for someone to be faced with. 

I know this sounds like a depressing blog, to be discussing death and decisions that some people have to make.  But really, it's not.  It made me think about my Mom and Dad and how much I miss them.  It made me think about their deaths and how hard it was for me.  I watched my Dad deteriorate, over a year, to 98lbs...he didn't eat, didn't drink and he couldn't talk.  It was so hard to see that but I believe God was preparing me for his death.  Because when Dad died, although it was hard, I also felt that it was a blessing because I couldn't stand seeing him suffer any longer.  Losing Mom was totally different...quick and unexpected.  I didn't get the chance to prepare myself for losing her.  I think both were really hard to deal with but I was thankful that I had the time with Dad to say goodbye.  Just wish I had more time with Mom...more time to prepare.

My parents were so loving, kind and beautiful.   They loved each other like no other...they loved us like no other.  Dad was the typical father...got up, went to work (he was self employed) and would come home and relax on the couch after dinner.  He was always helping other people and loved when friends would come over for a visit and what was supposed to be a short visit, ended up being a kitchen party full of laughter, song and drink!  Mom was a loving mother.  I remember getting ready for school in the morning and always kissing her goodbye.  When I would arrive home after school, I would run to the house to give her a kiss again.  She taught me so much...I'm not sure if she realized how much I actually learned from her.  How to bake, sew, paint, wallpaper and style hair!  But most importantly, my parents taught me how to love, care for other people, and have strength to get through whatever I am faced with.  I am honored to be their daughter!

So what started as a very deep and depressing conversation, turned into an evening of remembering all the wonderful things about my parents.  I don't really sit and think about it, but I really should take the time to reminisce about them...it makes me smile :) 

Live fully...the most important things in life cannot be seen but must be felt with the heart...be kind and generous...simplify.....have patience and compassion....be grateful for the gifts you've been given...challenge yourself....inspire someone....take the road less traveled....it's never too late!

I feel blessed, strong, proud and loved!

It's Been A While...For Good Reason!!

Sorry I haven't written anything in a long time.  We have been so busy with family things that I just didn't have the energy to sit down and write anything.  I know a lot of you have been wondering how my appointments have been going and I apologize for not updating you all sooner.

On Family Day, February 16, Jason's uncle took his life.  We are still in shock and can't even comprehend why someone, that was so loved, would do this.  When we received the call, late that Monday night, our hearts sank with grief.  We were stunned and in such disbelief that this could happen. 

Marcel was such a fun loving, caring, life of the party kind of guy!  He and his wife Leslie were kind enough to open their home to Jason and I when we first moved to Ontario.  Before venturing off on our own, we lived with the two of them and their lovely daughter Madeline and their new born son, Evan. When Jason finished school, Marcel gave him a job with his engineering company in Mississauga.  While working for Marcel, Jason was contracted to another company who eventually hired him full time.  Marcel sold the company and moved on himself.  We started to lose touch with him but always tried to include him in our lives.  He was a great guy to be around and could always put a smile on your face!!  He will be greatly missed.

We are starting to feel like we spend our days at a hospital...waiting for doctors, waiting  for test results...it is overwhelming sometimes.  I had my appointment with my new General Surgeon at Woman's College Hospital, Dr. Escallon.  He seems to be quite knowledgeable and has done many surgeries like mine.  I asked him what the procedure would be and he explained that basically he would remove all the tissue and glands from my "good" breast and send it to pathology for analysis. (just to be sure there is no Cancer present)  This is called a skin sparing mastectomy.  Once he is finished with that part of the surgery, my plastic surgeon will take over and insert the expander, to eventually accommodate an implant.  Dr. Escallon is also going to remove my nipple, as I am going to have them tattooed on, at a later date.  Now, I just have to wait for my surgery date.  The problem may be trying to coordinate with my plastic surgeon because they don't do surgery on the same days...so someone is going to have to give up their golf day!! LOL  I think I'm worth it! :)

We have also been running to the doctor for Jason, Keil and Cole.  It just seems like every second day we have an appointment.  Jason is getting tests done so that he might possibly be able to get a surgery to help relieve his heartburn.  He has had it most of his life and we are worried that there may be damage in his esophagus.  So he has been traveling between Credit Valley Hospital in Mississauga to St. Joseph's Hospital in Hamilton.  Cole had his allergy tests redone and he also had to go see his specialist at Sick Kids in Hamilton.  The lymphangioma that he was born with has come back.  He had surgery on it when he was 2 months old.  The specialist said to "watch it" and if it gets worse, he may consider doing surgery again.  ...and Keil has been having stomach issues so we have been doing tests and seeing doctors for that.  We now have a referral to a Kidney Specialist for him because an ultrasound showed spots on his kidney's and his urine test showed protein spillage.  It just never seems to end...medical issues that is!

So, my next appointment is on April 8th.  I will have my second fat transfer done and then I will be ready for the big surgery...which I am still waiting for the appointment date. (the one where someone has to give up a golf day ;) 

Be positive, be strong and continue to pray for all the lost souls.   May they find the peace, strength and love they are looking for.