Happy Easter!!

It's been an up and down couple of weeks for me!

During radiation, my skin was doing really well.  The technicians told me every day that it was looking good and that they didn't think I would experience some of the side effects that most people get.  Well, I think they spoke to soon...or I should have knocked on wood or something!  Last weekend my skin began to blister and break!  OUCH!!  It got really red and sensitive as each day passed.  I continued to apply my cream and polysporin to the entire area, hoping that I could maintain and control more blistering.  It did help some but I did get two more large blisters around my scar that opened up the same day.  I made an appointment to see my Radiation Oncologist and Nurse.  They looked at it and told me it looks awesome...WHAT??....looks awesome?   Really?  My nurse told me that on a scale of 1-10...my skin is a "0".  She said that whatever I am doing, keep it up...it looks really good compared to what most people look like.  I can't imagine it being worse, because it really was painful.  I have continued the cream and it is healing nicely and not as sore as it was.  I do see improvements everyday! :)

I've also been experiencing some nausea and pain in my upper stomach, just under my diaphragm.  It seems to happen every day around supper time.  It's not always after I eat or before...it just seems to be that time of day.  The pain and nausea was so bad I took two Gravol and went to bed.   I called my nurse to see what she thought and she suggested that I see my GP and get a referral to a GI Specialist.  I haven't made the appointment yet...will do it the first of the week.  I have noticed that it only happens on the days that I exercise.  I don't know if I may have an ulcer that is getting irritated when I exercise, causing the nausea or what it is. 

One of the hardest things for me now, is when I am not feeling the best or have a pain, my head goes to..."could this be cancer some where else".  It's hard not to think like that!  There are no tests that the doctors do to confirm that you are cancer free.  The government doesn't have a protocol for cancer screening after treatments.  It's absolutely crazy!!  So, I have to live the rest of my life, terrified every time I have an odd symptom!  It just doesn't seem fair!  The only test that I will continue to have is a mammogram and my Liver MRI.  Most times, I can shake the thought from my head (that the cancer might spread)...but that odd time, I worry...which I think is quite common.  I just need to continue to work on making me healthy...physically and mentally!

I have been thinking of Mom a lot lately.   I started purging my house and came across some birthday cards that she sent me...very emotional to see her hand writing and read her words.  I am so glad that I kept them...although it is hard to read them, it's a nice reminder of how much she loved me! :)  Mom spent every Spring purging our house and re-decorating...looks like I am cut from the same cloth! :)

Easter reminds us that hope must never be lost for as dark as the road may seem, there always lies light at the end of it. May all your prayers be fulfilled. May our Lord send his choicest blessings upon you and your family this Easter. Have a Blessed Easter.

Be patient, be strong and continue to pray!

The Finish Line!

...and that's it...all done...finished...the end of treatments!!!  Another emotional day...although there were no tears...just giddy laughing though my entire appointment.  The technicians laughed along with me and told me they never want to see me again...diddo to that! :) 

I arrived at the hospital 45 mins early...not too excited...do ya think? LOL  Luckily, there were no other patients waiting and they were able to take me in right away!  It was overwhelming, hearing them record my measurements for the last time!  I actually knew all my measurements and could recite them to the technicians as they were getting me ready.  I was alone at my appointment and I thought that it would bother me...completing another milestone without someone there to support me...but I actually enjoyed the quiet and it gave me time to think about everything I encountered and overcame during this part of my journey.  Wow, would my Mom and Dad ever be proud!!!  I know they would worry about me the entire process but they would celebrate the end as proud parents. :) 

I left the hospital and arrived home around lunch time and opened my last gift from my good friend Kristine.  What an amazing and thoughtful friend I have!  Every day I opened a gift from her and laughed at some of them...even the boys got into it...asking if I opened my gift for the day and fighting over who would give it to me!  It was a nice distraction from the treatments!  Thank you so much my friend...you are something special! :)  Jason arrived home early with a beautiful card and bamboo plant with congratulation balloons stuck in the pot.  He also picked out a little angel and stuck it in the pot too!  His card was full of words of praise, encouragement and love!  He is amazing...did I ever tell you that? LOL  My in-laws sent me a gift card so that we could go out for dinner to celebrate...and that we did...at my favorite place, The Keg!!  Thanks Mom and Dad! xo  It was a day to remember...full of love, support and happiness!

I received the results from my liver MRI....NO CHANGES....and NO CANCER METASTASIS!!!   Yay for me!!  Follow up again in 3 months with another MRI.  So that's it...no more appointments until April 5 for my Herceptin and then May 8 for my next heart scan!  What in the world am I going to do with no appointments to get to each day....find my new normal life!! 

Next up....reconstruction!  I am going to start making appointments to meet with my surgeon and plastics!  But first, I am going to enjoy a few months with no doctors in my life! :)

Be positive, be strong and thank you for all your prayers!  Love each and every one of you!! :)

ONE...Such A Wonderful Number!!!

I am starting to get very lazy keeping up my blog...only because everyday I am gone to my appointments, running errands and entertaining the boys!  It just means I am full of energy and busy getting back to my life! :) 

ONE....ONE treatment left!!  I am feeling overwhelmed with emotion again!  I can't believe that I made it this far...it seemed almost impossible a few months ago.  I met with my Radiation Oncologist for the last time yesterday!  I told him I never want to see him in my lifetime again! :)  Not sure if he was offended or not...seriously...he wasn't and was very excited for me to be finished.  Did I ever mention, I have the best team of doctors and nurses in the world!  I appreciate everything they have done for me...and continue to do for me!  Dr. Yuen said that my skin looks fabulous and that he is quite happy with how I tolerated the radiation...I am quite happy and proud of myself too!  My skin is really red now and discolored from the treatments.  It's kind of like a sunburn...a bad sunburn!  Under my arm is quite sensitive from the friction of moving my arm...but I am putting cream on it constantly and treating it like a baby's bottom :)

I had my liver MRI a week ago and I haven't received my results yet...I will stop by to see my nurse on Monday to see if she has them.  I figure no news is good news! :)  I am quite confident that nothing has changed since September and all will be good!  I am scheduled for another heart scan on May 8th.  My last scan showed an ejection rate of 60%...lets hope that hasn't change either! 

Had my Herceptin treatment yesterday.  It is such a breeze compared to what I used to sit in that chair for!  I am happy, upbeat and chatting with everyone...but feeling sorry for the newbies that are coming in...blind to what is about to happen.  I remember how scared I was that first day and how I cried when they tried to access my port!  Looking back, I was so weak emotionally and mentally.  Now, I am so much stronger, braver and healthier!  When the nurse accesses my port now, I take a deep breath and hardly flinch!  I still don't like it, but it's much easier now.  I just wish I could tell all those newbies that it will get easier...you just have to stay positive and have faith...in the nurses, doctors and treatments!  I had my nurse telling me that on the first day and it made a world of difference.  I can see at the end of all this that I will likely volunteer at the hospital...even if I can help one patient get through this, I will feel like I did something! 

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their March Break!  We certainly stayed busy...Fantasy Fair, Play dates, Chuck-E-Cheese, and a movie date!  I don't know about the boys but I am exhausted!!  I couldn't have made it through this week without the help from my good friends Jo and Patrick!  They took the kids so that I could go to my treatments...while they were busy packing their house up.  They will be moving in June and I am going to miss them immensely!  They have certainly gone over and above, helping us out during the past 8 months!  ...and now, Jo has agreed to help me get back in shape and train for the Breast Cancer run in October...we are going to run it together...don't know if she knows that yet! ;)

I will post again on Monday or Tuesday, after my LAST TREATMENT!!!!!

Be positive, be strong and prayers to all the newbies that need support and love!

Research, Research!!

Still going to radiation everyday.  I have 8 treatments left and that's it!  Finished of, what I considered the hardest part of my treatment plan, Chemo and Radiation!!  Still have a long road...10 months of Herceptin every three weeks...5 years of Tamoxifen...and the biggest of all...reconstruction! 

I have been doing a lot of research lately on reconstruction.  There are so many options and possible outcomes.  Also, because I am having radiation, my options are limited to TRAM (they remove skin, fat and muscle tissue from my abdomen), DIEP (they use only the skin and fat from my abdomen) and Latissimus dorsi flap (they remove skin, fat and muscle from my back).  They can also do a GAP procedure, which takes skin, fat and muscle from my butt!  Which I would consider if I had a butt!! LOL   But after reading, there is a new procedure that is called BRAVA and fat grafting.  It allows women to recover their natural breasts without another surgery and with the enormous benefit of near-normal sensation in their new breasts and nipples.  The only problem is, I can only find places in the USA that do this procedure.  My hope was to get expanders and then implants.  The plastic surgeon places an expander just under your chest wall and injects it weekly/biweekly with fluid to help expand the chest wall to make room for the implant.  Unfortunately, due to the radiation, which leaves my skin very thin with little elasticity, my skin can't accommodate an implant.  So, now I plan to do more research on the fat grafting procedure and hopefully find a surgeon in Canada that performs it. 

Nothing much new...my skin is holding up with the radiation.  I am only experiencing burning (similar to a bad sun burn) and tightness.  I have a liver MRI this Friday.  The doctors are keeping an eye on the spots that were found on my liver.  Last testing, done in September showed cysts and hemangioma's on my liver.  The doctors want to watch these lesions to ensure they are nothing more than "cysts and hemangioma's."  So, busy day on Friday...have to be at the hospital for 8:30am...prep for MRI at 9:15am...then radiation at 10:45am. 

Be positive, be strong and pray for all those women and men fighting the big C!!