Decisions, Decisions!!

It's so hard to think that as a woman, you are faced with losing one of the things that makes you feel like a woman. 

What are boobs really?  Just an extension of your chest?  No they really are more than that, they provided nourishment to both my boys for six months each!  I suffered through mastitis, thrush and numerous bites and tugs!  But at the end of the day, now that I know I will have no more children, they are really just a  flap of skin filled with fluid, glands, lymph nodes and tissue.  Yes, they are still a part of me but they don't define who I am.  Do they make me beautiful?  No, not really.  They may add to my beauty but they are not the end all in my beauty.  I am beautiful because I am a loving, caring wife, mother and friend. 

Now, I say all this because I do have to make the decision to remove just the tumor or remove my whole right breast.  It's not an easy decision to make but like the doctor said, go with your gut and what it is telling you.  My initial gut, after hearing what the doctor had to say, was get rid of the whole thing.  It was my initial, middle and end.  I have decided that for me, removal of my entire breast is what is going to make me beautiful.  It is going to be a hard adjustment but for peace of mind, it's what will suit me best.  Sure it will be a huge adjustment for Jason, since he is a "boob man" (he is going to kill me for writing this).  But even Jason is thinking about the possibilities of what can be after this surgery.  Do they make size "H"?  LOL 

All I know is that I have to have fun with this and keep positive.  Sure there are going to be days that are hard and I am not going to be strong but I am hopeful that there are more days of happiness than sadness.  It takes a solid family structure to get through something like this.  Supporting, loving, caring for each other and letting each other cry, be angry when we need to.  But at the end of the day, we are all going through this, not just me and we need to stick together!  I have the best family in the world...both immediate and extended!

We will get through this....together!