Ugh!!

Yes, it's been a tough one!

Had my treatment on Friday and I am taking a long time to bounce back from this one.  They decided to give me Gravol by IV after my treatment and it knocked me out!  I slept on the way home and crawled into bed for the rest of the night.  Instead of taking my regular anti nausea drugs, I decided to take gravol for the remainder of the weekend.  It worked for me!  A lot better this time with not as much nausea and a tolerable headache.  Although I didn't have a lot of nausea I am really run down this time. 

I have been weak and feeling even more nauseated as the days go on.  Having a lot of stomach cramps and just overall not feeling well.  Heartburn, which is a side effect of the Chemo has plagued me this time too.  I got a prescription for that but it gives me the shakes.  I am just so tired of not feeling well!  Tired of not feeling myself! 

You know, I go on facebook everyday...sometimes numerous times a day because I am bored.  But there is one thing that I am noticing lately with all my friends...they are not happy!  They are stressed because of Christmas coming, ranting because they got cut off by someone at the store or just complaining about the sun not shining!  My sister decided a couple of weeks ago that she wasn't going to go on facebook anymore because it was too depressing.  I am starting to think the same thing.  You know, it's easy to complain about these things when you don't really have anything to complain about!  Be thankful that you are healthy, that your children are healthy and that you were able to wake up this morning!  I would never judge someone for what they think is their "problems" in life but really, people need to start realizing what life really is.  It's a gift, a precious gift that should never be taken for granted. 

Before my diagnosis, I complained that I was too busy, that I didn't feel I got enough help around the house, etc....but now, I realize all those things mean nothing!  Really, in the grand scheme of things, does it really mean anything?  You control your life, your reactions to situations.  You can step back from your life and slow things down if you really want to!  You don't have to get upset with the person that cut you off...they aren't wasting time thinking about you, so why should you expend all this energy worrying about them!  I think that we can all make small steps to change the way that we behave, react and live!  I know all of this has opened my eyes to so many things.  The way that I live is going to change, it has changed!   I worry now about making myself better for my kids and Jason and being happy!  Everyday may not be a "happy" day but I plan to have more of those than days complaining about things that don't matter!

Be strong, stay positive and pray for me!