At the beginning of all this, I never imagined that I would make it through to this point. I felt like my world was tumbling down and after Mom died I realized that there was no where but up for me! I kind of think that some of the things that have happened to me this year, have made me stronger and more of a fighter. I feel like I want to prove something to me and everyone else. Whether it's a stubborn streak in me or just the fighter, I want to show people that no matter what life throws you, you have to make the most of it.
Make the most of it? Really?? How do you make the most of Cancer or losing important people in your life? Well, I have had so much time to sit and ponder things that I realize what is important at this point in my life. It's the little things, the people that are here now, thinking of what the future holds and all the memories of the past, that I have. A lot of people go through life worrying about things they can't change, prioritizing jobs and success at the top of their list and living like robots. Getting up each day, getting ready for work, going to work, coming home full of stress, yelling at their kids, yelling at their husband/wives, watching mindless television in silence and then going to bed...only to start it all over again the next day. If those people would just slow down their lives and really dissect each moment, they would realize that all the things that they are doing, don't "really" count. What counts is being able to get up each morning, appreciating your family and friends, and keeping those people at the top of your priority list. Saying "I love you" to your husband and kids, not because it's habit but because your heart would be empty if they weren't here with you. I don't really know where I am going with this, I just felt I needed to write it.
So Friday is #4...who would have thunk it? I look back and think of how I was feeling in June when I first found the lump. I was scared and weak with emotion. I thought, this is going to be a long, hard road. Look at me now, at treatment 4 and feeling not so bad! This treatment will be with my new drugs so I am not sure how my body will accept it but I am hopeful that I will not have too many of the side effects. I am excited and a little overwhelmed that after this Friday I will have only two treatments left. It has been a long journey and a tough one too but my husband and kids keep me going. Each day I wake up and am thankful for a day of feeling well, thankful for Keil getting up early to sit and watch the morning news with me, thankful for Cole getting up and asking for his cereal and giving me a kiss and hug, thankful for Jason getting up and helping me get the kids ready for school. I am thankful for all I have and I know some of you might think that is hard to believe, that I would be thankful for all that God has served me this year. But I am just thankful for those little things that make me happy, which in turn, make me stronger and make my day!
Be strong, be positive and please pray for me!
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