Looking Out The Window!

Yesterday was a tough day for me!

Got my wig and the color is not quite what I expected.  When I tried it on, I felt that it was a "wig"!  Well, of course it is but it really felt like a wig, now that I don't have much hair.  I was bummed out because I have been looking forward to getting it for two weeks now and just wanted it to be perfect.  I called the lady I purchased it from and she said she would put some highlights through it for me.  I would do it but I didn't want to take the chance of ruining it.  I think once some highlights are put though and I put some more layers and bangs in it, I will really like it.  Just got to remember that it isn't going to grow if I don't like it! LOL 

I thought about Mom a lot yesterday too.  I know she is here with me because some freeky things have been happening.  Once in a while, I can smell cigarette smoke.  I couldn't sleep the other night so I went down to the basement (we have a bed set up there now) and tried to get comfortable.  I thought I would bring my Kobo reader because I knew I wasn't overly tired.  I was reading Patti Mallette's book (Justin Bieber's Mom) and managed to finish a couple of chapters before shutting it down for the night.  Now, if any of you have a Kobo, you know that it saves the last book that you read on the screen and tells you the percentage that you have read.  So, I go down to the basement the next day to get my Kobo and on the screen was a book that I haven't even started reading and it said that it was 15% read!!!  Freeky....I think so!   The book was one that Cara downloaded when she was here (apparently it's similar to 50 Shades)...I guess Mom really liked it! LOL

After a couple of melt downs yesterday and supper I was sitting in my living room just looking out the window.  I find peace and comfort watching nature.  Watching the squirrels scurry, watching the leaves fall and watching....well, just nothing.  But one thing I did notice, is everyone going about their nightly routines.  People getting supper ready, doing homework with their kids and just having family time.  I realized how not too long ago, I was one of those families.  I was going on with my daily routines and only cared if the house was clean, when my next client would be coming, if I had enough groceries for the next couple of days.  Funny how your life can take a sudden turn.   We never know what is actually going on behind closed doors and sometimes, we just don't want to.  People looking in my windows might think that everything is normal here.  That we are going about the same routine that we have always done for the past 11 years.  But little do they know, our world has been turned upside down and it's not about the daily routines anymore.  Now it's about living!  Making sure the boys are having fun, that they are enjoying their lives.  Enjoying every minute with each other, good or bad.  Just taking each breath as it comes and exhaling with an even bigger breath...just knowing that you are alive!  It's amazing what you can see when you look out your window.

Be strong, be positive and pray for me! :)