The next stop in this journey is reconstruction...and it is a huge part of the recovery process!
As I told you all before, I met with my surgeon last month to discuss a referral to a plastic surgeon for reconstruction and to remove my other breast and reconstruct that as well. I still haven't heard from the doctor on an appointment. I thought I would start the process of seriously investigating all my options for surgery. Wow, there is a lot of information out there...seems like anything is possible!! But then you talk to other patients who get information from their doctors that tell them, you are limited. Ugh...not something you want to hear after surviving breast cancer.
You just want your body back! You want to feel like a woman again and feel sexy...but why do we put such labels on ourselves? Society makes such an effort to show us what is "normal", what is "womanly", and what is "sexy"...and in every media forum you will see beautiful women with beautiful breasts. Whether they are average, big or small. You don't often see an ad with a woman after breast cancer. Why is that? Why do they not chose women that have suffered through this terrible disease? We should all be celebrating them!! Is it because we are not perfect now...that somehow breast cancer has tarnished us. We are all women that want to feel "normal", "womanly" and "sexy" again...but is it a breast that will make us feel that way? It's sad to say, but I think it is. I think that by having both breasts, you feel better about yourself. I recently bought a new bra with a prosthesis built in and I haven't taken it off...well, to wash it..but I wear it everyday because it makes me feel better.
I wish that people could accept you for having one breast...but even a breast cancer patient that I met said to me..."I am going into surgery and making them remove both breasts...after seeing you with one just hanging, I wouldn't feel beautiful". Made me a little upset, of course it would...my first thought was, so you don't think I am beautiful? Really...why would someone say that...especially someone that is going through the same thing as you? You would think that they would use as much compassion with you as you show them. I just think that some people say things and don't really realize what is coming out of their mouth. Not that I expect everyone to tip toe around me because they are scared they might say "the wrong thing" and hurt my feelings. But I do expect you to use "human" judgement when speaking to me.
Anyway, kind of got off track there...sorry! :) So, back to reconstruction...I contacted my referral doctor's office to see when I could expect my consultation appointment but I haven't heard back from them. Apparently, I could be waiting 3-4 months before I hear of my appointment date....then another 3 months for the actual appointment and then 3-4 months before surgery. A long lengthy process but it's a part of this journey where I can make most of the decisions.
That's about it for now...Herceptin on June 6th...and getting excited to be going home this summer!
Stay positive, be strong and continue to pray! :)
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