Happy New Year!!

I can't even believe how fast this year passed us by! 

Well it was certainly a different Christmas for us this year.  We had an awesome Christmas full of entertaining, good food, lots of laughs and excitement as we watched the boys open all their gifts from Santa!  I was under the tree passing out all the gifts, taking pictures and video, making coffee, finding batteries, opening toys...you know, those hard ones that you need a knife and screwdriver to open the endless supply of ties! As frustrating as they were, trying to cut a million of them per toy, I enjoyed every minute of it.   Much different than last year...I couldn't move off the couch to help distribute the gifts and tried to smile at the kids and show some sort of excitement as they opened their gifts.  I felt like crap and to feel amazing this year, was a welcomed gift all in its own!!

Before I sat down to write today, I briefly went through all my blogs from December of last year.  I was in a lot of pain last year and very weak.  It's funny how you forget some of what you have been through.  Unless I actually sit down and think about things, I find it hard to comprehend how sick I actually was.  Then I look at the pictures and "see" how sick I was.  It was funny, Cole looked at our family calendar for December and I always have a picture at the top of the calendar to remind us of what we experienced in that month, the year before.  Well, the picture this month is of our family last Christmas.  Cole didn't even recognize me...well, he knew it was me but he couldn't believe it was me.  He said "wow Mom, you look so different!"  and to think that he always called me beautiful, even when I was sick and looking my worst.  Makes me proud of my kids and the compassion they showed during my treatments.  They certainly are good boys! :)

So, I am trying to prepare myself for the beginning of my reconstruction.  This time next week, I will be in surgery again to begin the long and painful process of reconstruction.  I have so many mixed emotions surrounding this.  I am excited to begin because it just means I am closer to being "normal".  I am scared shitless about the pain and discomfort that comes with all these procedures.  I am nervous about the final results...will I be happy, will I feel like a woman, will I regret it?  All kinds of things go through your mind!  The thing is, once we start the process, there is no turning back!  So, I have to suck up the pain and get past my fears and try to find the good in this entire journey!  All I can say is that I have total faith in my doctors and I know that this next journey is going to be a piece of cake compared to what I have been through! :) 

January 7th will mark the day that I begin my journey to healthy new boobies!!!  YAY!!!

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2014!!  May all your dreams come true!!