Sorry for not writing in so long!
Well I am half way there! Finished treatment #13 and tomorrow will be the end of week 3! It is going by so fast!! I can't believe I only have two weeks left!!
Most of my appointments are in the mid morning which really frigs up my day. I get the kids off to school and then get ready to head to the hospital. By the time I get through my treatment and back home, it's early afternoon. Doesn't leave me much time to do anything else...other than tidy the house, do the laundry and prepare for supper. I don't mind at all...I feel great and feel like this makes my life a little more "normal".
The treatments are starting to take their toll on my body. My chest is getting burned and I am feeling a bit tired. I put the recommended cream on my burn three or four times a day, hoping that it won't get too bad. The technician told me today that if the skin opens, then they will have to give me a prescription cream. Praying that it doesn't come to that, as it may interfere with my treatment schedule. If everything goes smoothly from today, I will be finished on March 18th! I am so looking forward to sounding the radiation horn!! Yes, they have a horn for you to squeeze on your way out...another emotional day in my journey! :)
Started the Tamoxifen pills last week and holy hannah...this menopause thing is for the birds! Night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings, etc...are driving me nuts! Could explain why I am not sleeping through the night! Feels like I am waking up every 1/2 hour, kicking the blankets off only to put them back on a minute later...ugh, and to think I will go through this twice in my life!
Been thinking of my Mom a lot lately and missing her like crazy! She would be so proud of me! I am starting to see how strong and positive I have been for the past 8 months. I feel, to some degree that seeing my Mom go though all the shit that she had to go through, has made me deal with my own journey in a more courageous and brave way. Mom had to watch her husband suffer with excruciating headaches, unstoppable nose bleeds and seizures...and then deteriorate from a strong, "healthy looking" man to an unresponsive, vulnerable, child like man. She had to stand by idle, watching my little sister fight her way though leukemia at the age of 2. How could a woman go through all that and not be strong and courageous? Well, that's what Mom was to me...strong, courageous, graceful, warrior...all words that have now been used to describe me. I am starting to believe I am more like my mother than I thought! ...and I am honored! :)
All of you that read my blog and for the others that comment on my Facebook page, I hope you never have to experience what I have experienced in the past 8 months...but if you do, I hope you have someone in your life that can teach you the qualities required to make it though! Thanks Mom and Dad for teaching me to be loving, compassionate, strong, courageous, graceful and a fighter, for without that, I wouldn't be the woman I am today! If your Mom and Dad are still here in the physical world, give them an extra big hug...for you never know what tomorrow will bring!
I AM positive, I AM strong and I WILL beat this! Please continue to pray for me!
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Monday, 18 February 2013
Happy Family Day!!
Week one is down and only 4 more to go!
Last week went well! My skin is a little sensitive and I get the odd pain shoot through my arm or side but other than that, I am feeling really good! On Friday, I met with Dr. Yeun (my Radiation Oncologist) just to discuss my week and to also let him know how I was feeling and if I had any questions. It was my first appointment with him since starting radiation. I wasn't really prepared for the appointment...because I didn't really know what to expect. So my only questions for him were..."should I be worried about other organs being touched by the radiation?" and "how big of an area are you radiating?" As for the organs being effected...the top of my lungs are being hit...but really, a small amount and my thyroid is being hit by about 13%. He told me if I experience side effects with my thyroid, to contact my family doctor. So now I am going to have to look up information on the thyroid...especially after receiving radiation. The area that is being radiated extends much larger than the points of my tattoos. It extends over my shoulder and down my back, under my arm and down my side and from where my breast would be down to the bottom of my rib cage. Quite a big area that I have to cream up three to four times a day! Otherwise, he is quite happy with how things are going and reassures me that "it will be over before you know it!"
This week is a short week for my Radiation because they are not open today. Friday will be a long day as I will meet with Dr.Yeun again, then go to Chemo to receive my Herceptin infusion, then to radiation to receive my treatment. I basically feel like myself again and have been going to all my treatments by myself. I figure I will go as long as I can by myself and then call on friends and Jason when and if I need to. So far so good! :)
Update on the lady that was talking about me and wouldn't stop staring at me....she was there again on Friday but arrived after me. I was sitting quietly reading my book when she arrived with her daughter. I looked up from my book when they arrived and she gave me a sympathetic smile...tilting her head and all! She sat a few chairs away and continued to stare at me until my name was called...it's kind of getting creepy! She once again discussed with her daughter how young I was and how hard it must be for me...and why am I all alone! I swear she thinks I am deaf! I am starting to menopause...which includes mood swings so she should watch herself...I may have to take her out one of these days! LOL
So yes, I am starting menopause! I haven't had a period since early December...so the Chemo kind of started the process and now the Tamoxifen is finishing it off! I started the Tamoxifen today. Tamoxifen will be taken for 5 years because I am Estrogen and Progesterone positive. It will block the receptors for both these hormones. These hormones "feed" my type of cancer so the Tamoxifen will block them...and send messages to the receptors to change. Here is a "medical" explanation of what the hormone therapy does...
Be positive, be strong and continue to pray for me!
Last week went well! My skin is a little sensitive and I get the odd pain shoot through my arm or side but other than that, I am feeling really good! On Friday, I met with Dr. Yeun (my Radiation Oncologist) just to discuss my week and to also let him know how I was feeling and if I had any questions. It was my first appointment with him since starting radiation. I wasn't really prepared for the appointment...because I didn't really know what to expect. So my only questions for him were..."should I be worried about other organs being touched by the radiation?" and "how big of an area are you radiating?" As for the organs being effected...the top of my lungs are being hit...but really, a small amount and my thyroid is being hit by about 13%. He told me if I experience side effects with my thyroid, to contact my family doctor. So now I am going to have to look up information on the thyroid...especially after receiving radiation. The area that is being radiated extends much larger than the points of my tattoos. It extends over my shoulder and down my back, under my arm and down my side and from where my breast would be down to the bottom of my rib cage. Quite a big area that I have to cream up three to four times a day! Otherwise, he is quite happy with how things are going and reassures me that "it will be over before you know it!"
This week is a short week for my Radiation because they are not open today. Friday will be a long day as I will meet with Dr.Yeun again, then go to Chemo to receive my Herceptin infusion, then to radiation to receive my treatment. I basically feel like myself again and have been going to all my treatments by myself. I figure I will go as long as I can by myself and then call on friends and Jason when and if I need to. So far so good! :)
Update on the lady that was talking about me and wouldn't stop staring at me....she was there again on Friday but arrived after me. I was sitting quietly reading my book when she arrived with her daughter. I looked up from my book when they arrived and she gave me a sympathetic smile...tilting her head and all! She sat a few chairs away and continued to stare at me until my name was called...it's kind of getting creepy! She once again discussed with her daughter how young I was and how hard it must be for me...and why am I all alone! I swear she thinks I am deaf! I am starting to menopause...which includes mood swings so she should watch herself...I may have to take her out one of these days! LOL
So yes, I am starting menopause! I haven't had a period since early December...so the Chemo kind of started the process and now the Tamoxifen is finishing it off! I started the Tamoxifen today. Tamoxifen will be taken for 5 years because I am Estrogen and Progesterone positive. It will block the receptors for both these hormones. These hormones "feed" my type of cancer so the Tamoxifen will block them...and send messages to the receptors to change. Here is a "medical" explanation of what the hormone therapy does...
The hormones estrogen and progesterone can stimulate the growth of some breast cancers. Hormone therapy is used to stop or slow the growth of these tumors. Hormone therapy is used to treat both early and advanced breast cancer, and to prevent breast cancer in women who are at high risk of developing the disease. Hormone-sensitive breast cancer cells contain proteins known as hormone receptors that become activated when hormones bind to them. The activated receptors cause changes in the expression of specific genes, which can lead to the stimulation of cell growth. Hormone therapy (also called hormonal therapy, hormone treatment, or endocrine therapy) slows or stops the growth of hormone-sensitive tumors by blocking the body’s ability to produce hormones or by interfering with hormone action.So...this is what the Tamoxifen does...which puts me into early menopause. I am already having night sweats and some other symptoms of menopause...that I don't care to mention...and I am sure you don't care to hear! :) But hey...if it means that my chances of getting cancer again are decreased, then I will deal with it! Hopefully the symptoms will only last for 6 months or a year!
Be positive, be strong and continue to pray for me!
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Happy Valentine's Day!
Let me start by saying...Love and appreciate the one your with! You never know when you will have to surrender your being to them...and let them take care of you! They will be the one that will be beside you for eternity and will love you through the worst of times...holding your hand, rubbing your back, catering to your every need and sharing with you their future plans for the two of you! This is every thing that Jason means to me! He is my light, my love and my soul mate! He has walked with me though this journey and has always stood beside me...walking slow when I needed it and pushing me when I thought I couldn't go on! I love him so much and can't imagine...no I don't want to imagine my life without him! So please, give your special someone the extra hug and kiss that they deserve!!
Radiation is going well! The nurses were right...it's a walk in the park compared to what I have been through! I am starting to feel some effects after just three treatments. I am tired (which could be because I am not sleeping well) and my chest is tight and skin is sensitive to touch. These are normal side effects but I was hoping they wouldn't appear until I was well into my treatment plan. Oh well, I can handle it!
My treatments usually take about 2 hours...from the time I leave home and get back! Everyday, the technicians have been 30 mins behind schedule so it puts a real delay on things! Once in the room, I am only there for 10-15 mins...most of the time being spent on setting me up! I actually don't mind going for my appointments. It's very quiet in the waiting area...a fireplace is going and I get to sit, relax and read my book! Kind of a nice break from life...other than hearing the odd person complain about their situation.
I understand that some people need to hear other people sympathize with them...but when it's the same people everyday, complaining about the same thing....my goodness, enough already! We are all going through this cancer thing and yes it's rough...and of course we wish we weren't going through it...but guess what?...we have it, we are being treated for it and most of us are dealing with it....so suck it up! Yesterday, I had this women staring at me constantly and giving me the sympathetic eye...it was driving me crazy! Then she had the nerve to discuss ME with the lady sitting next to her...did she think that cancer made me deaf?..."oh that poor little thing"..."she is so young"..."she looks cute in her hat"..."she must have had chemo because she lost her hair and eyebrows"...really?...do you think you can keep your comments to yourself?...really, I am fine with this...God dealt me this hand and I am going to play it out! I am playing it out and I am WINNING!! That is my rant for the day!
I got my heart scan results yesterday and good news...my ejection rate is 60%...which is down a little from my last (which was 67% and my first scan being 65%) but the nurse said it is still really good! So looks like my body is tolerating the Herceptin well, which is wonderful news because I really need this drug! All is good! Yay!!
Enjoy your day everyone!
Be positive, be strong, and continue to pray for the people that need it most! :)
Radiation is going well! The nurses were right...it's a walk in the park compared to what I have been through! I am starting to feel some effects after just three treatments. I am tired (which could be because I am not sleeping well) and my chest is tight and skin is sensitive to touch. These are normal side effects but I was hoping they wouldn't appear until I was well into my treatment plan. Oh well, I can handle it!
My treatments usually take about 2 hours...from the time I leave home and get back! Everyday, the technicians have been 30 mins behind schedule so it puts a real delay on things! Once in the room, I am only there for 10-15 mins...most of the time being spent on setting me up! I actually don't mind going for my appointments. It's very quiet in the waiting area...a fireplace is going and I get to sit, relax and read my book! Kind of a nice break from life...other than hearing the odd person complain about their situation.
I understand that some people need to hear other people sympathize with them...but when it's the same people everyday, complaining about the same thing....my goodness, enough already! We are all going through this cancer thing and yes it's rough...and of course we wish we weren't going through it...but guess what?...we have it, we are being treated for it and most of us are dealing with it....so suck it up! Yesterday, I had this women staring at me constantly and giving me the sympathetic eye...it was driving me crazy! Then she had the nerve to discuss ME with the lady sitting next to her...did she think that cancer made me deaf?..."oh that poor little thing"..."she is so young"..."she looks cute in her hat"..."she must have had chemo because she lost her hair and eyebrows"...really?...do you think you can keep your comments to yourself?...really, I am fine with this...God dealt me this hand and I am going to play it out! I am playing it out and I am WINNING!! That is my rant for the day!
I got my heart scan results yesterday and good news...my ejection rate is 60%...which is down a little from my last (which was 67% and my first scan being 65%) but the nurse said it is still really good! So looks like my body is tolerating the Herceptin well, which is wonderful news because I really need this drug! All is good! Yay!!
Enjoy your day everyone!
Be positive, be strong, and continue to pray for the people that need it most! :)
Monday, 11 February 2013
1 Down...24 to Go!
Today was my first radiation treatment! I arrived 1/2 early and they were running behind 1/2 hour...thank goodness I brought my Kobo! One of the hospital volunteers met me at the front desk after I registered. She was very nice and I think a little taken back when she called my name and she saw how young I was. She took me on a quick tour and guided me as to what I was supposed to do each day when I came in. She also gave me my appointment times for the rest of the week. She gave me that sympathetic look...the "Oh my goodness, I can't believe someone your age has to go through this" and told me if I had any questions to let her know. Everyone at the hospital has been so caring, compassionate and so helpful! Credit Valley Hospital is an awesome hospital!
My Radiologist technician finally came out to get me and quickly took me in and explained what they would be doing. He also introduced me to the rest of the team...Annie and Rauz. They were great! Annie did all the set up...measuring, shifting me, and explaining all of the procedure. Rauz did all the computer input and confirmed all of Annie's measurements. My goodness, there is a lot of technical jargon and precise maneuvering going on when you are lying on the table! So, once they had me set up to the right positioning, they applied a jelly skin to my skin. Apparently, by applying this pad it "tricks" the radiation into thinking that my skin is thicker than it really is and will apply the radiation beam to my skin without going too deep. Annie explained it like this..."since you had a mastectomy, the jelly skin will help to bring the radiation beam closer to the surface of my skin". She also told me to make sure that I apply the recommended cream to the radiated area at least 3 times per day (but not 2 hours before treatments as it could interfere with the treatment) and to drink lots of water....hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
So, the beginning of this phase has started and I have 5 weeks left! Ugh...I hope it goes by fast!! One good thing, the Radiation Unit is beautiful and quiet! I am sure by the end of my 5 weeks I will have a different opinion! LOL
Started working out today...taking it slow! Walked on the treadmill for 1/2 hour and I feel a little embarrassed to say that I am really feeling it! I guess sitting on your ass all winter will do that to ya! :) I figure I have 20 lbs to lose (already lost 7lbs...all water retention I am sure)...yes, I gained 27lbs throughout this journey and the Tamoxifen may put even more on. So I figured I better start now...just in case it takes me a year! Man, at the rate I was going today on the treadmill...it's going to take me a few years...baby steps....baby, baby steps!
Treatment #2 tomorrow at 12:00pm!
Be positive, be strong and pray for all of us going through this journey! There are more than you know! :(
My Radiologist technician finally came out to get me and quickly took me in and explained what they would be doing. He also introduced me to the rest of the team...Annie and Rauz. They were great! Annie did all the set up...measuring, shifting me, and explaining all of the procedure. Rauz did all the computer input and confirmed all of Annie's measurements. My goodness, there is a lot of technical jargon and precise maneuvering going on when you are lying on the table! So, once they had me set up to the right positioning, they applied a jelly skin to my skin. Apparently, by applying this pad it "tricks" the radiation into thinking that my skin is thicker than it really is and will apply the radiation beam to my skin without going too deep. Annie explained it like this..."since you had a mastectomy, the jelly skin will help to bring the radiation beam closer to the surface of my skin". She also told me to make sure that I apply the recommended cream to the radiated area at least 3 times per day (but not 2 hours before treatments as it could interfere with the treatment) and to drink lots of water....hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
So, the beginning of this phase has started and I have 5 weeks left! Ugh...I hope it goes by fast!! One good thing, the Radiation Unit is beautiful and quiet! I am sure by the end of my 5 weeks I will have a different opinion! LOL
Started working out today...taking it slow! Walked on the treadmill for 1/2 hour and I feel a little embarrassed to say that I am really feeling it! I guess sitting on your ass all winter will do that to ya! :) I figure I have 20 lbs to lose (already lost 7lbs...all water retention I am sure)...yes, I gained 27lbs throughout this journey and the Tamoxifen may put even more on. So I figured I better start now...just in case it takes me a year! Man, at the rate I was going today on the treadmill...it's going to take me a few years...baby steps....baby, baby steps!
Treatment #2 tomorrow at 12:00pm!
Be positive, be strong and pray for all of us going through this journey! There are more than you know! :(
Saturday, 9 February 2013
Heart Scan!
Well I hope that everyone was able to braved the storm yesterday! I know that my Nova Scotia family are getting dumped on today. I hope that everyone stays safe!
Jason decided to stay home yesterday, rather than sit in 2 hours of traffic! I am glad that he stayed home because the boys had a PA day (which I found out about on Thursday night) and I had my heart scan. I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to get out to make it to the hospital...I guess that is the benefit of having a 4 wheel drive truck...you can make it out in anything! It was a long drive down, cars were off the road and buses were stuck in intersections. But we finally made it and registered...only to sit an wait for 45 mins before someone came and prepped me. Then I went to the Cardiopulmonary unit and they had to prep me again with the radio active material that they inject for the scan. After my injection, I had to wait another 45 mins for my scan. Jason was able to come in and sit while I was on the table having my scan but he didn't talk to me...in fact, he almost fell asleep from the sound of the machine. So much for having company! LOL So, the scan is done and I should be getting results next week.
Monday I start my 5 weeks of Radiation. I am excited to start but a little apprehensive as well! I have been feeling really good the past couple of days and I am worried that the Radiation is going to make me feel like shit again! When talking with the Radiation Tech, she told me that most Breast Cancer patients only experience mild fatigue, diarrhea and a bad sunburn (which is accumulative). If that's all it is, I can handle it! I am also worried about the amount of Radiation my body is getting...worried about my other organs and the possibility of getting cancer from this, later on in life. They say the risk of getting cancer later in life is minimal compared to if I was to refuse Radiation now...and possibly have cancer cells floating around in my body. So the decision was easy...have Radiation now and deal with what may or may not come later in life! If it means that I have an extra 30 or 40 years now...I'll take it!
Be positive, be strong and pray for all those people fighting the good fight!
Jason decided to stay home yesterday, rather than sit in 2 hours of traffic! I am glad that he stayed home because the boys had a PA day (which I found out about on Thursday night) and I had my heart scan. I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to get out to make it to the hospital...I guess that is the benefit of having a 4 wheel drive truck...you can make it out in anything! It was a long drive down, cars were off the road and buses were stuck in intersections. But we finally made it and registered...only to sit an wait for 45 mins before someone came and prepped me. Then I went to the Cardiopulmonary unit and they had to prep me again with the radio active material that they inject for the scan. After my injection, I had to wait another 45 mins for my scan. Jason was able to come in and sit while I was on the table having my scan but he didn't talk to me...in fact, he almost fell asleep from the sound of the machine. So much for having company! LOL So, the scan is done and I should be getting results next week.
Monday I start my 5 weeks of Radiation. I am excited to start but a little apprehensive as well! I have been feeling really good the past couple of days and I am worried that the Radiation is going to make me feel like shit again! When talking with the Radiation Tech, she told me that most Breast Cancer patients only experience mild fatigue, diarrhea and a bad sunburn (which is accumulative). If that's all it is, I can handle it! I am also worried about the amount of Radiation my body is getting...worried about my other organs and the possibility of getting cancer from this, later on in life. They say the risk of getting cancer later in life is minimal compared to if I was to refuse Radiation now...and possibly have cancer cells floating around in my body. So the decision was easy...have Radiation now and deal with what may or may not come later in life! If it means that I have an extra 30 or 40 years now...I'll take it!
Be positive, be strong and pray for all those people fighting the good fight!
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Call To The Nurse!
Well, I made the call to my Oncologist Nurse yesterday and reviewed all my symptoms with her and she feels that these are all side effects from my Chemo. I did discuss with her my findings on the Breast Cancer Website and the possibility that I was experiencing side effects from the Herceptin and she assured me that it was all from the Chemo and that I would experience these side effects for at least another couple of months. Geeze, this stuff really lingers for a long time in your body...which, if it's killing the bad stuff, I don't care how long it's in my body...I'll gladly deal with the side effects!
I am feeling better...my energy is coming back, which I thought would never happen! I am still a bit short of breath, still have the dry cough and still have the swelling (which comes and goes). I can tell that every day I am a little bit better! I have my heart scan on Friday and I am hoping that it will turn out to be a good result so that I can continue the Herceptin. I will also know for sure that these symptoms are in fact from the Chemo and will eventually go away.
I can't believe that this time next week, I will be into my radiation! I am getting excited to start this next phase of treatment. It just means that I am one step closer to getting my life back!! I am already thinking about the summer and what plans we can make as a family! I get excited thinking about going back home and spending time with the people we love. The people that have supported us through this journey! We are also hoping to do a little camping, take a trip to Niagara, and maybe doing a weekend trip to the States. Jason and I are also hoping to take a weekend and get away...just the two of us! We, as a family, have all sacrificed so much over the past year. The boys have made the most sacrifices...not being able to go on play dates, not being able to go to birthday parties, not being able to celebrate their own birthdays with their friends...it's just been a tough year for them and I want to make sure that this year is extra special for them! Both Jason and I have made sacrifices as well...Jason especially...he has stopped playing hockey, which is a sport that he loves, he has turned down invites to go out for drinks with friends...all to take care of me! So, needless to say, we really need to spoil ourselves this year and do the things that we want to do!
Do what you want to do, enjoy life and love one another...you never know when your life could take an unexpected detour!
I am feeling better...my energy is coming back, which I thought would never happen! I am still a bit short of breath, still have the dry cough and still have the swelling (which comes and goes). I can tell that every day I am a little bit better! I have my heart scan on Friday and I am hoping that it will turn out to be a good result so that I can continue the Herceptin. I will also know for sure that these symptoms are in fact from the Chemo and will eventually go away.
I can't believe that this time next week, I will be into my radiation! I am getting excited to start this next phase of treatment. It just means that I am one step closer to getting my life back!! I am already thinking about the summer and what plans we can make as a family! I get excited thinking about going back home and spending time with the people we love. The people that have supported us through this journey! We are also hoping to do a little camping, take a trip to Niagara, and maybe doing a weekend trip to the States. Jason and I are also hoping to take a weekend and get away...just the two of us! We, as a family, have all sacrificed so much over the past year. The boys have made the most sacrifices...not being able to go on play dates, not being able to go to birthday parties, not being able to celebrate their own birthdays with their friends...it's just been a tough year for them and I want to make sure that this year is extra special for them! Both Jason and I have made sacrifices as well...Jason especially...he has stopped playing hockey, which is a sport that he loves, he has turned down invites to go out for drinks with friends...all to take care of me! So, needless to say, we really need to spoil ourselves this year and do the things that we want to do!
Do what you want to do, enjoy life and love one another...you never know when your life could take an unexpected detour!
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Herceptin Is My New Nemesis!
I will update on my phone conversation tomorrow with my doctor. She better not brush it off...or she will have one nasty patient standing at her office door!
Be positive, be strong and send a little prayer!
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